I know there are a lot of really great things about small communities, but from my own personal experience coming from a small community, I have learned there are also some not so good things. One of the great things is everybody knows everything about everybody, and one of the not so great things is that everybody knows everything about everybody. Thus, small communities can be beneficial to individuals who have a positive reputation, but if you come from a well-known family of trouble-makers, or have made some of your own personal mistakes in life, the stigma attached to your identity can be nearly impossible to escape and often times becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Growing up, my parents would always tell me that you don’t just represent yourself; you represent your whole family. Although that sounds a little heavy for a child, it was true. If you were good or bad at sports it reflected back on your family, and if you were running around with the “wrong crowd” that also reflected back on your family.
As most of us know, kids and young adults can be very mean, especially if there aren’t many entertainment options. Teens end up partying, making poor choices, and then they hear about it for the rest of their lives. To add to the gossip that already circulates throughout my hometown, I somewhat recently discovered a blog about my hometown’s “dirty laundry.” This site shallowly rates people on their appearance and contains multiple “hate” comments about other people, most of them mentioning intimate details about other peoples’ sexual lives. In my opinion the media and reality shows targeted at young people encourages the shallow judgments and hurtful gossip. These rumors and the gossip that comes from a community people identify with can be really painful, especially when one is young and they are searching for an identity and want to be accepted. Then, if someone really does seriously develop a problem, it is kept on the “down-low” because “the power of the fear associated with stigma often keeps families from accessing professional…services” (Scales and Streeter, 2004, p.136). Thus, families don’t want to make the pain worse by adding more humiliation by getting help.
When I was younger I was not necessarily above this bullying. I was a product of groupthink a time or two, which occurs when group members don’t speak up out of fear of upsetting the group. (Hardcastle, Powers, 2004). Hence, while my friends were bullying a “new girl,” I didn’t really do anything (I was only ten). She happened to be the principle’s daughter and came across to us a condescending. We bullied her enough that she changed schools. Although I wasn’t directly involved in this bullying later in life the girl informed one of my friends that I was a “side-kick” to the bullying. I still feel bad about that to this day. Our teasing left a large impact on her life and led her to taking the drastic measure of moving to a different community. Looking back and analyzing why the bullying took place was probably because we perceived the girl as a threat and we felt that she didn’t match our beliefs, which is no excuse, yet I’m sure this is the same reasoning other bullies have. It’s also interesting to look at the cycles of bullying. Many of us who went to that school had parents that went to that school and I assume we held similar roles as our parents. The bully cycles must be broken, and I think it is important for teachers, parents, social workers and anyone working with people to stop bulling, because the results can be dangerous. Members of communities give feedback to individuals within the community that the individuals then internalize. We want people to feel good about their communities not labeled and ostracized.
As most of us know, kids and young adults can be very mean, especially if there aren’t many entertainment options. Teens end up partying, making poor choices, and then they hear about it for the rest of their lives. To add to the gossip that already circulates throughout my hometown, I somewhat recently discovered a blog about my hometown’s “dirty laundry.” This site shallowly rates people on their appearance and contains multiple “hate” comments about other people, most of them mentioning intimate details about other peoples’ sexual lives. In my opinion the media and reality shows targeted at young people encourages the shallow judgments and hurtful gossip. These rumors and the gossip that comes from a community people identify with can be really painful, especially when one is young and they are searching for an identity and want to be accepted. Then, if someone really does seriously develop a problem, it is kept on the “down-low” because “the power of the fear associated with stigma often keeps families from accessing professional…services” (Scales and Streeter, 2004, p.136). Thus, families don’t want to make the pain worse by adding more humiliation by getting help.
When I was younger I was not necessarily above this bullying. I was a product of groupthink a time or two, which occurs when group members don’t speak up out of fear of upsetting the group. (Hardcastle, Powers, 2004). Hence, while my friends were bullying a “new girl,” I didn’t really do anything (I was only ten). She happened to be the principle’s daughter and came across to us a condescending. We bullied her enough that she changed schools. Although I wasn’t directly involved in this bullying later in life the girl informed one of my friends that I was a “side-kick” to the bullying. I still feel bad about that to this day. Our teasing left a large impact on her life and led her to taking the drastic measure of moving to a different community. Looking back and analyzing why the bullying took place was probably because we perceived the girl as a threat and we felt that she didn’t match our beliefs, which is no excuse, yet I’m sure this is the same reasoning other bullies have. It’s also interesting to look at the cycles of bullying. Many of us who went to that school had parents that went to that school and I assume we held similar roles as our parents. The bully cycles must be broken, and I think it is important for teachers, parents, social workers and anyone working with people to stop bulling, because the results can be dangerous. Members of communities give feedback to individuals within the community that the individuals then internalize. We want people to feel good about their communities not labeled and ostracized.
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